‘I make my case over and over. Unable to tell if I am convincing anyone.’ — I lay out ingredients. Not five minutes before, as I start to cook. Like normal people. I take them out an hour in advance. Set them on the counter. Unmeasured, unchopped. Mental meal prep. I am 10 minutes late. Always optimistic that I can get my shit together fast. A…
Numb with Numbers
Every morning we take inventory of our failure Beds, too few Tests, too late Masks, worn out Accountability, gone We tick off, one by one The vulnerable years The secluded weeks The infectious days The interminable hours The seconds it takes to wash it all away Day after day, we…
We lie, drunk, on a couch too narrow to contain us. Like college lovers on a Twin XL, Sinking into one another To keep from falling. You ask how I am feeling how you should do it how I can be sure You wonder if you are enough if I will get bored if we will hate each other in the end Mu, I say, Softly kissing your brow. Unask the question, For there is a better one.
I remember I re-member Teeth clenching curled lip Without words Strands flicked skyward Electrified within Ink like veins Tracing time and place and purpose Hands conducting symphonies In thin air, on soft skin Scar where eye nearly kissed iron And went dark I re-member I remember You
To Bottle Lightning
I feel it coming. Shadows creeping up softly, Smothering the light That just now danced in your eyes. I see it rising. Quicksilver forked and flickering, Electric tongues Setting fire to the space between. I step out, Clicking frame after frame, Chasing proof Of the current connecting earth to sky. You pull back, Folding me in and away. Doors shut, lights off We watch it slowly engulf us. Here in the dark, The storm is ours alone. You tell me it’s better this way. And I believe you.
There are 14 stairs in the house that grew me Where we held hands and locked eyes Blue on blue/brown Reciting the ritual rhyme On the step where we always stopped And marked The coming of the night. There are 14 stairs in the house that grew me Where I lay at night counting footfalls That told to close my eyes And feign sleep As my father bowed and whispered I love you forever With tears on his tongue.
If had more time, I wouldn’t wish it gone so fast. Wouldn’t rush to an age when years dissolve in minutes. Would savor the slow unfurling hours, Unburdened by the weight of what’s to come. If I had more time, I wouldn’t mistake myself for the enemy. Wouldn’t lay siege to my…
I grew my hair long to spite my face. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Reins, woven lustrous thick, To pull me back When I strayed too far Or bucked too hard. Led from behind, just out of sight, I drank from a source That would not satisfy, Fed on empty palms Clenched tight Like your hands around my neck At the moment of release. Enforcing restraint. I cannot say why, For so long, I maintained the means of my captivity And trusted the hands of a rider Who held on to hold me down.